Another break, another challenges, another life..

Sem 5, halfway of my university life... second holiday for this sem and there are still many challenges ahead which may or may not change my life... currently i already start to feel that i have fallen behind and im nt as capable as other ppl saw... i did not show any improvement and i reli tired to hang on it... now only i realize wat i actually nid which is freedom... when there are something that ties me bak i will feel tired and frustrated especially when i cant untie the knot!! The one who support me becum limited as i try to hide myself up to becum a normal person which go throughs a normal life rather than try to exceeds myself... The burden on me increasing day by day and i hope that i can release it or have some1 to share wif me as soon as possible... Where is the ppl that i have supported before, i not hoping for any things in return but i just hope that when i in needed i also got the support like i support other ppl... Hope the time past faster when i think it should past fast and past slower when it should not past fast... ish....

Term of Best Fren

I think in my term of best fren will be different from others ppl... I think i'm quite friendly and easy to make friends if i wan to... but nt everyone i will treat as best fren... I treat every of my fren equally but i think it will be more different when come to best fren.. I think they will notice who im treating them differently as i really treat them as my best fren.. But if im the only 1 who show the committement to stay on track, how can i define it as best fren?? So the real real best fren for me are really less, which both side show the committement to be best fren.. I just only hope that u all appreciate me as ur fren even nt the best fren but nt as a tool to help u all finish the assign and work... It will make me create a barriers to everyone before i really accepted them into my life... It is suffering.. I will share all my things wif u all when i feel necessary and important and hope that u all can give me bak the same things... Unfortunately, sumtimes i realise that something that is important to me but i can only get from third party instead... Dissapointed.. In my new chapter of life, i will care only about myself.. means becuming more selfish!! I also dun wan to becum so, it is im force to become so... Im a person that look tough outside but very weak in the inside... I just hope to have some1 who reli can accompany me and share wif me all the happiness and sadness all the time.... There are not easy to find a true frens that reli treat u as frens and not a tool or something temporarily which are nt long lasting... I just hope to enjoy my life but nt create more problem in my life.. i already trying my best.. starting to feel tired in getting wat i want... really dunno what the future hold for me... I hope that i can get a friendship that is solid throughout my life...*cross finger*

Devil on the loose!!

I nid to suffer 1 more week b4 i can really get out from the devil's hand!! Haha.. wanna know how evil the devil??? 1st, her attitude really can reach the highest level of a devil!! haha.. Even a small things she also wont do and call other ppl do... does her post really that big until can skip all the work?? 2nd, late late late and late... everyday late 10-15mins... doesn't some1 post more important then nid to reach earlier?? Y the whole fact overturn?? Normal staff reach earlier and open the whole shop and start operating while the head nt yet reach?? WTF??? Damn unfair becoz 10-15mins becum late 5 mins only when the devil write her own arrive time on the attendance card!! Where is the justice??? 3rd, alwiz act cute and thought herself very pretty... Pls help me!!! Age 30+ still wanna act cute??? Ueksss... aih.. so torture when something like this happened so often!! 4th, alwiz go 'curi tulang' on the opposite shop... Hate it when the devils go opposite shop for at least 30 mins then come bak and ask stupid question... ' Why no customer ha?'... Who the hell noe abt it?? 5th, alwiz go break more than it should be and left other ppl in hunger... Cant the devil think that besides her, there are still ppl nt yet eat and waiting their turn to eat?? 6th, say something b4 before filters it that would make other ppl unhappy... "U ownself got eye, u cant determine whether it is nice or not? What kind of opinion is this for the customer?? "Pls dont wear until my clothes break into 2" This look like a opinion that shoot the big size customer. 7th, devils are not the most powerful in the shops and pls dun try to act like one!! Means nt every order u giv we must follow.. Understand?? I will bear this devil for 1 more week.. then c how u handle it all alone!

Left 1 month!!

My sem break left approximately 1 month.... So hard to past 1 month... dunno y so boring this sem break... work oso nt very fun + tired somemore.. aih... today my last sem result out ady.. i quite satisfied wif it... but wat happened is i din not expect that the history is repeating and i fall for it unaware... *shyt* Y i so naive ha?? aih.. i swear that i wont fll for it anymore last few sem.. I will learn more tough to it!!! Now waiting for the pangkor trip, hope it will be enjoyable and i can have a gud trip before start my new sem... hehe...

Holiday fun?? Or sufferings instead??

Having sem break is gud thing or nt? For me i think it is not a gud thing.. Very lonely, boring, moody and nothing to do.. I rather the break shorter so that my problem would be lesser... Aih.. No nid find work, no nid stay at home, no nid face my laptop whole day dunno got wat do, no nid so lonely in home.... Seperating from uni frens too long really nt very comfortable, cant have fun together, cant eat together, can chit chat and play games wif each other... After each of us bak hometown we can only contact each other by msn who those got got streamyx in their home or sms. But most of my frens dun like to sms so not a gud way to build up our frenship while we are in hometown... Or izzit all people will change into another person when they bak hometown?? Hope our frenship can last forever without any drastic changes. I appreciate all the frens i have so i hope that u all treat me bak as ur best frens...I nid to bear for 1 and a half month so that can enjoy my life bak in uni.. count down to that day!! So in the meanwhile, my hometown frens all busy wif their internship/practicum or camping so i have to stay lonely in house... aih aih...

Long time no update

I think its quite some time that i havent update my blog... then i think this blog would be quite long as i will update everything i remember in my sem 4 life in uum. This is a quite a short sem that i think, becoz its nt enuf time for me to enjoy... This sem there are many thing happen to me and my fren... there are happy and sad thing happened... But all of this already past so we dont look bak on it and continue on our future... As long as we are still ourself then there are ntg big to worry... lol... Wat i sad about is when the times comes we all need to seperate to our own ways that maybe makes our relation change.. But wat i hopes for is a reunion of coz.. lol.. Who does nt hope for a love, family and friendship tat last forever and never change.. Each of tis is an important components in every1 life. Appreciate it to avoid any drastic changes to any of the components. Now i left 2 years in my university life.. Hopefully i can enjoy out of it and all the friends that i noe in my life time will remember me alwiz and help each other whenever we are in needs without care about who sacrifice more. Remember and contact with each other is also a must, as all of us are mostly from different state and hometown.. After graduate there will be lower chance to meet or have fun together except we can put out our efforts to try to meet each other no matter how busy we are!! Hope for the best!!

The time must go on....

The time is going on without turning bak... There are something is changing without turning bak... There are people changing without noticing.... It seems that there are nothing that can stay forever... At least i still cant find any of it... Or is it i'm the only 1 changing??? Everytime when there are new environment or new person then there will be sometimes nt the same anymore... I'm going to be exhausted soon by keep changing to suit everything that is new... I dunno whether is im too sensitive or think too much... Time past very fast so i hope that at least friendship can last forever.... =)

China Experiences...

Till now i still havent got any pics yet, so sorry about tat... hehe.. My experiences in there is was wow it was incredible... haha.. Coz i can go to other country that is quite far from M'sia... The culture is totally different from the M'sia culture and of coz there was bad and good la... Firstly we talk about food, got nice and some very disgusting... The nice food include the bamboo sticky rice, 'bing tong wu lou', muttons and many more... And for the disgusting part would be the scorpion, insects, starfish, sea horse, and the most disgusting in the year would be the smell like drain water kind of soy cow soup... Where got ppl eat something like this??? Then the human culture there would be quite 'open' i think.. Haha.. The toilet there are all open, the ppl there spit everywhere they wan and the most annoying is the vehicles on the road keep press horn... After that, about the shopping at there is very different compare to M'sia... They have one kind of shopping mall that set up a prices very high that let the customer to bargain for the price they wan some sort of petaling streets in M'sia.. But they are in shopping mall... Then the promoter there very aggresive, they will pull u in to their shop to c thier products... It is scary at 1s, but then i think it becum normal after a while.. The most impressing thing in China is the Palace and the Great Wall of China... Incredible!!! I wonder why the people in ancient so professional?? lol... Then the weather at there was fast changing... haha.. When we reach Beijing, it was about 10-20 celcius but i think it still ok but quite cold in the nite... But when we ask the people there, they say that this is nt very cold and it wont snow in this degree... Then, the 2 days before we going bak to M'sia, the weather change in 1 day from 10-20 celcius to below 0 to -10 celcius... It was very very very cold especially when the wind come together... Whole face become frozen as ntg to cover up.. haha.. The most regret thing in China is i cant c the snow and the snow start to fall the day after we bak to M'sia... Grr... Must find a chance to go other country to c for a snow fall..

China Trip

Ok, this is just my introduction part of my china trip... there would be no picture as i cant get the full complete set of picture yet... hehe... This trip was a great experience for me to learn more culture about China...It last for 12 days although it not really the whole 12 days got activity... There are 58 total people going for the trip including the ajk and we got some of the days stay in the train and airports... The trip include visiting the capital state of China, Beijing, Tian jin, Cangzhou and a while in Guangzhou... There was really a different culture of the china people compare to the malaysian... The story will unfolds when i got the picture so that i can show out some in the blog... keke... Wait for it!! ^^y

Wakao... left 1 paper only...

Aiks... aiks... aiks.... today is the 4th paper that is ethics paper... I thought it would be easy as test 1, test2 and quiz... Who knows... it so hard o.... I think this paper is the hardest in all the 4th paper i already took... *sob* *sob*... I thought this was my only A that i can get for this sem... Now my hope crashed ady le... Who ask me dun study harder in 1 day time!!! Regret ady lo... Now the another dangerous paper coming, that is my last paper account!! Brain cell also die half ady becoz of the account le... C until 8 eyes... 2 days to prepare only.... But that was my last paper... Once the exam over then i shud be very happy coz can go bak home ady lo.. then after few days i'm going to China lo... Haha... now dunno wan to think about the trip or the account paper... Hehe...

1st War Ended

Yesterday was my 1st war in the sem 3 that is the 1st exam paper OB... Damn it, i study for it so long ady but i also cant do it well... The most funny thing is i write the whole bunch of wrong answer on the 10 marks question!! WTF!!! Now going to have my 2nd war on the 9th Nov 2008!! 3000 paper.. Wakao, i thought it is easy coz the textbook not very thick and tips are given... Who knows, it so hard to understand and memorize... What im gonna do?? I cant get a bad result for anymore paper.... Y i attend class dun pay attention to the lecturer now really regret... GRRR....

Exam Periods...

Aih... when says about the exam periods, it is so suffering for me... Everyday wake up at around 11am++.. The 1st thing i do everyday is watch a movie 1st before start my revision for exams.... haha... looks relaxing... but after that i will start my study till around 2pm++ only i will go for my lunch... After a 30-45 minute lunch break i will either watch a movie or study depends on my mood at that time.... Keep on studying on my slides, tips and notes in the book until around 6-7pm to go for my dinner... Same wif lunch time, it will takes around 30-45minutes and i will be bak to my room to continue my studies... In the nite time, i will watch movie once i feel sleepy to make myself more awake to continue my studies... Every nite i will sleep at around 2-3am... I will be going to hav this kind of life for this whole examination periods... It is so boring and uninteresting... Gosh, thats y i'm so stress and suffer!! I alwiz wonder why this word 'examination' appears in this world?? It brings so many unhappiness to the student!! Physically and mentally torture for me... 1 month i'm going to live in this kind of life, i really rather got some1 take my life away.... ARGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Release my tension..

I had to back hometown although the final exam are just around the corner because of the feels over the University are very stressful... Every1 are studying till midnite and doing their own revision... Because of i have quite enuf time to study my final and im broke, so i gone bak to hometown and find a work to support myself... So i work in cinema which i worked at there before when the sem 2 break... At there although the salary is low but i still choose to work at there because the colleauges there are very nice and fun to be with... It can decrease the stress and tension that im having in the examination periods.... The works at there are not very tiring and it was quite interesting and entertaining... hehe... Furthermore, the manager and asst. manager at there are very friendly and a good leader... So with the working environment that is so good and comfortable, y dont i go bak to release my tension and stress??

Yesterday was my 1st day going bak there work and there was some funny thing happened... The story start wif i was wearing the white shirt which is nt the ccompany uniform because now im consider as new staff... hehe.. Then i was assign to work in the ticket box which i need to sell ticket to the customers.. At that time there was 3 people inside include me and im sitting the center counter... When i start selling ticket, i was quite familiar with the thing inside as i got worked at there before but the another 2 staff didn't noe about that.... They thought that im a new staff as im nt wearing the uniform... Then after a while, 1 staff feels weird and ask me when is my 1st day start working in cinema?? Then i answer him today... Then he ask who taught me all the prosedures in the ticket box.. Then i burst in laughing and tell him that actually im an old staff and thats y i noe everything about ticket box...It was very funny and i was very happy coz i knew more new frens as there are many new staff that i havent see before...

Although i noe that the frens that i noe from there wont be so long lasting but at least some of us are still contacting with each other through sms.. Frens are easy to find but hard to maintain the realtionship... This also makes me stressful sometimes... Besides thinking of my own thing, nid to care about my frens also especially they are having problems... This is because i care for everyone so i will take it as my own problems oso.... Hope that after my few days work before final exam can help me release some tension and stress so that i can do my revision more better and comfortable to get a gud result this sem... Gambate to everyone who are having the final exam!! Dun giv up!!!

Highest point ever...

Walao this sem i think i have broke my record... I get the highest point of stress... Aw... What is stress?? Stress is a pyschological response to demands for which there is something at stake and coping with those demands taxes and resources exceeds a person's capacity and resources. That means im having a serious time wif stress... First, i was so stress is because this sem i'm doing very badly in every paper and getting a very low carry marks... Really no eye to c already... Then the 2nd factors is not enuf money.... This sem my ptptn very less due to the deduction for the RM1500 and i nid to go to China.... Really everyday nid to eat roti already... Only this 2 factors enuf for me to kill myself... just kidding.. haha... Tats y after the classes ended i go bak to hometown to work part time to get extra income while studying for my final... Walao... stress hor?? If this sem i got bad result then u all will c me in a different person... i dunno what i will become and i what i gonna do....

UUM Life...

Time past very fast and i now already in sem 3... Today was my last day class in sem 3 and that means im going to have my final and entering the sem 4 life in UUM... What have i learned in UUM?? Wow.... that was alot that i had learned... I learned about my own course... lol... I learned about human principles, how to make frens, socialize with others and even how to makes my life more colourful... Before i enter University life, i really was a shy and not a talkative person, thats y i have limited frens... But once i enter Uni life, every person i meet, they will say im a talkative person and there are 0% that im a shy person... lol... Actually i will only become friendly once i knew some1 long and then i will only become talkative.. haha... I think i have opened myself to get to know more frens to make my life colourful... Now, i have many gangs, family, best frens and frens in UUM... Firstly is my UUM family, i have 2 bro who is 1 tai lou and 1 ah kor. I appreciate them for their help and we share our problems and happiness together... Then, is my yes yes gang... I'm very happy to know all of u which we all can really share our secret, happiness and sadness together... After that is chung chung gang... I think tis sem we are less together but i also wont forget u all.. I still remember our meeting every night in the sem 2, it was a fun meeting i ever had in UUM... haha.. Then follow by my best fren... There was too much of it.. For example, lychee gang, room 220, frino, nick, lao tham, chew and many more... We go vacation together, play together, do assignment together, joined activities together... Really a gud experience for me... Then last but not least will be all my frens... Without u all, i also cant write my blog so long.... I hope i can get more and more frens in the last 4 sem in UUM... Gambateh!!!

Power

Is it power that important?? Is it power can influence ppl?? Y everyone desire power??? I dont understand y that power is so important to everyone... Is it no 1 can survive without any power?? Is it power can bring fame and money?? For me i dont think so, i think power bring more hatred to the others more than fame and money.... I can still survive without any power because as long as i done my part then it is ok for me... I do not mean to critics all the people with power and influences but i really hate the ppl who use the power that assign to him/her for own benefits... In addition, the people who hunger for power are worst than the ppl who use power for own benefits... I hate to c ppl that go and 'ampu' the powerful ppl to gain some benefits for themself... If u wan power, y dont u go and get it urself with ur own potential?? This kind of ppl are very fake!! Based on the observation i got, powerful ppl really can influence ppl especially the ppl who are hunger for power... Why is this world going to be like this?? There will be more and more ppl get hated and powerless ppl will be discriminate!! I rather to be stay alone than make more frens so that i wont get hurt in the future... Really dissapointed sometimes... I hope u all can wake up and choose the right road for urself... whether to be hated or loved...

Hard decision :'(

Today i have made a hard decision.... I already think so long about this matter and made a final decision on it.. I had to put a full stop on it so that i wont let the same thing happen to me like sem 2.... I nid to get over it fast so that it wont affect my exam... I already regret at the sem 2 when the same thing happened to me and i cant get over it in a short time... For this time i hope i can solve it faster...Actually i felt sry that i made this decision to whom may concern... Sry... Mayb is becoz of my emotions and made a stupid decision.. i hope u wont mad at me... I think u can get over it... U still have alot of frens and family that can help u... I think im nt suitable to becum a bro for u... I will still treat u as my fren but i think there will be a limit which i set it for myself for nt overlimit it... The problems is nt in u but is because of me... Hope u can understand... There are still many ppl and frens that support u... But for me, there are nt much... There are many thing happening to me in just half year, it makes me becum more sensitive and really emo sometimes.... And there are sometimes i think that i sacrifice so much and putting all my efforts in it that i hope that i can get then same treatment but who knows, i get ntg in the end.....I know that it is very stupid for me to think like that but i really cant control myself.... I feel like im some1 who are important when im needed and im invisible when my role finished playing... So i have to becum more mature and start making my own decision... At 1st, I also feel down when i made this decision, but i think is better for me and for u... U still young and there are still many ppl u can treat them as ur bro..... Last word.. Sorry!!

Useless...

Walao... suddenly i think about this matter which is im useless... I think i really a useless guy... Any skills that i have that can show it out or giving a gud impression to others??? I think i dun have lo... Sing? I cant... Cook? I cant... Study? I cant... Computer? Not an expert... Leadership?dont have.... Makes ppl happy? Not gud at it.... Acting? Never learn of it.... Sports? Dont have interest in it... Still got too much to go actually... This few basic thing i also dun have... i still not useless?? Really dunno how to help myself anymore... I think i going to be a follower forever which i never going to be success!!! :'(

Starting of my blog....

Today 11 October 2008 was the 1st day i created my blog here and going to write my 1st blog in here... To start my blog i would like to write something about me 1st... hehe... i think some of my personality u all can c through the about me section... But im going to go in detail in this blog... I'm quite a shy person and i will only going to talk with some1 after i know that person after some time. Im a person who are waiting for frens to come and very less i going to have the initiative to know some1. And the most important thing is im a person who appreciate every frens i ever had even i have lost contact with some of them. I will remember their name and face. But, i also got some1 that i dislike and i will stay far away from them. Sometimes i will show it out clearly because im some1 who are forgiving but i wont forget. So u all dun do something behind me oh!! Haha.... I hate when other people say something or do something behind me and act ntg happen in front of me... Besides, i also hate people lie to me and give me the chance to know that they lie to me!! Its hurt.... Sometimes, i also feel that im very weak as i'm a person who alwiz dun have decision and let other ppl make decision. Thats mean im a follower which dun have my own opinion and i will run away from difficulties whenever i face problem... Then, from my experiences, i think im a gud listener but im not a gud decision maker as i can listen to other people problems, happiness, worries and many more but when they nid my opinion, i cant give any gud opinion that can help them to solve their problem... Im sorry about that... Btw, sometimes im very sensitive that even they did not voive out their problem, i also can guess it out when i feel something wrong. I trust my feel and sense as there are high percentage i guess it right though my feeling based on my experiences... Lastly, im not a hardworking person and i have STML ( short term memory loss) problem... Im worrying about my working time in the future coz this is a serious problem for me to work... aih... Wat u all think about me?? U all can comment about me.... TQ...