Term of Best Fren

I think in my term of best fren will be different from others ppl... I think i'm quite friendly and easy to make friends if i wan to... but nt everyone i will treat as best fren... I treat every of my fren equally but i think it will be more different when come to best fren.. I think they will notice who im treating them differently as i really treat them as my best fren.. But if im the only 1 who show the committement to stay on track, how can i define it as best fren?? So the real real best fren for me are really less, which both side show the committement to be best fren.. I just only hope that u all appreciate me as ur fren even nt the best fren but nt as a tool to help u all finish the assign and work... It will make me create a barriers to everyone before i really accepted them into my life... It is suffering.. I will share all my things wif u all when i feel necessary and important and hope that u all can give me bak the same things... Unfortunately, sumtimes i realise that something that is important to me but i can only get from third party instead... Dissapointed.. In my new chapter of life, i will care only about myself.. means becuming more selfish!! I also dun wan to becum so, it is im force to become so... Im a person that look tough outside but very weak in the inside... I just hope to have some1 who reli can accompany me and share wif me all the happiness and sadness all the time.... There are not easy to find a true frens that reli treat u as frens and not a tool or something temporarily which are nt long lasting... I just hope to enjoy my life but nt create more problem in my life.. i already trying my best.. starting to feel tired in getting wat i want... really dunno what the future hold for me... I hope that i can get a friendship that is solid throughout my life...*cross finger*